I will have plenty more to say about this topic, but for now this will have to suffice.
The
porn film industry has a lot to answer for. People’s ideas of sex and sexual
acts have been turned from intimacy between loving couples to something cheap
and over exaggerated.
Taking
a man’s penis into your mouth is more than just giving him a head job, a blow
job or sucking cock. It has a name, Fellatio, from the Latin word fellàre
meaning to suck.
It
is taking the most vulnerable sensitive part of a man and honouring him, lavishing
love upon him and yourself. To me it is a sacred act, and should be treated as
such, even on your knees in the car park of a night club.
Don’t
get me wrong I am not some subservient woman who believes sex is a man’s
pleasure. I am a strong minded, strong willed woman who happens to understand
the depth of human need.
Sexual
intercourse... fucking... is done by everything and everyone. But taking a man
into your mouth is ‘sex’ on a whole new level; it should be as arousing for you
as it is for him.
So
if you are going to do it, you should do it because you want to. Because it
excites you and turns you on, not because it is expected of you or he demands
it.
If
he demands it with no thought to your feelings then he deserves a porn star
head job full of oh yeah baby, you’re so big, moaning, groaning, loads of
saliva and no feeling at all.
But
when it is something you want to do, you should do it with all the respect you
have for yourself and for the recipient.
One
more thought as to why you should treat the act with respect before I describe to
you my enjoyment and method of performing fellatio. You don’t go to a fine
dining restaurant and order their most delectable dish only to spit on it the
moment it arrives at your table, because it is going to get saliva on it
anyway. No you savour it. Enjoy it. Take your time with it. The same should be
applied to fellatio.
So let’s begin. First of all
let me reiterate, the act of fellatio should always be about respect. So if he
hasn’t washed in a while and reeks of urine and sweat, he isn’t showing you any
respect so either tell him to go shower or it’s not happening.
If you don’t know your
partner, say you have met him at a night club, you will need to take
precautions. You don’t know what he may or may not have. So before you take him
into your mouth take the time to have a feel and a smell. If his penis has
lumps and bumps on it, he could have genital warts, if the precum has a slight
off odour to it, not like normal precum and yes all precum smells alike, then
he may have some other sexual disease, in which case if you are determined to
go through with it, put a condom on first (I’d probably go the condom route
anyway just to be sure).
Otherwise point out that he
isn’t as clean as you would like (he may think just the urine smell) and simply
change your mind, it is your right to do so. I would also recommend giving the
balls a squeeze, if they are hard or have lumps in them then that also may be
an indicator that there is something wrong. Also any sores of any description,
don’t do it, it is not worth the risk of catching herpes or anything else.
(also if he has herpes and doesn’t tell you he is breaking the law... but we
can talk about sex and the law another time)
So how do you check him
without him feeling like he is being medically examined? By making it part of
the foreplay of fellatio. Unless he has taken his penis out of his pants and
shoved it in your face (where’s the respect? tell him to take it elsewhere),
you have the time to explore, and it heightens the man’s anticipation so he is
hardly likely to complain.
So let’s assume he is clean. Let us also assume you are
somewhere where you aren’t likely to be interrupted, arrested or otherwise
disturbed.
The penis is the man’s most delicate, vulnerable area
both emotionally, psychologically and physically. Remember that, you have more
than just his flesh in your grasp.
I like to begin by running his head over my closed lips,
then while my hand gives him a firm stroke I lick my lips making sure they are
well wetted then again run his head over my lips.
I don’t spit or drool saliva on him, think it through,
where is it all going to go?... between his butt cheeks and onto the bed if he
is laying down or it is going run down his legs or pool in his undies if he is
standing and partially dressed, either way it is messier than necessary and how
would you feel if you were being covered in it?
Parting my now wet lips slightly I continue to gently rub
the head across my lips so that the head slips between them just enough to make
him inhale and tense waiting for it.
Opening my mouth more by slackening my jaw I flick the
head with my tongue then guide him into my mouth. This serves the purpose of
wetting him as he enters so he doesn’t get caught or pull on his sensitive
skin. I run my tongue up and down his length as I take more of him in, then
closing my lips firmly around him I suck slowly as I pull him out of my mouth.
To me fellatio is simulating vaginal sex, so why not
treat it as such. Men like a nice firm vagina so give him a nice firm mouth,
not a wide open, barely touches the side suck.
Hold him in your mouth, use your hands to stroke him, his
balls, if he is standing let go with your hands and grab hold of his butt
cheeks with both hands, it gives him the sensation of being totally in control
and totally at your mercy all at once.
I like to use my tongue, flicking, licking and teasing,
tracing the shape of the head as I draw him into my mouth. Changing the pace of
the sucking changes the feeling for both of you, hard and fast or long slow
drawn out strokes. Using your hands also changes the feelings. Wrapping a hand
around his length to stroke him while you suck is exciting. It limits how much
you take into your mouth which can be a good thing especially if he is trying
to push your head forward or is thrusting his hips. I like to alternate with how much I take into
my mouth. If I spend time lavishing attention on his head and only taking that
much into my mouth I will suddenly take as much as I can and suck hard and
fast, then change back to slower more deliberate actions.
Deep throating is a matter of personal preference. Where
did it start?... porn movies. Fake and contrived and designed to give men a
sense of heady power, but hey if that floats your boat don’t let my judgemental
attitude stop you. I will on occasion attempt to deep throat my man. But I have
a very sensitive gag reflex and so it is fraught with danger for me. I don’t
like the idea of gagging or vomiting even slightly while performing fellatio,
to me it kills it, takes all the enjoyment out of it for both of us.So if you
are going to try it here is what I recommend. Swallow first. Excess saliva will
not be helpful. Open your mouth wide... remember you still have a mouth full of
teeth. Keeping your lips closed around his length as best you can guide him as
far into your mouth as you can comfortably stand. Some will say push him into
your cheek. Ok. But that puts the length of him right over your teeth, it
doesn’t actually get him any deeper into your mouth. That’s deep cheek not deep
throat.
Opening your mouth wide I found deadens the gag reflex
slightly so you can take him as far into your mouth as possible as it opens the
back of your throat up. If you have no real gag reflex you can let your man
take over here for a little and to use the colloquial term ‘fuck your face’ but
if you are like me and gag at the slightest pressure make sure you have
control. Hold his hip firmly with one hand; it will let him know you don’t want
him thrusting. With the other hand wrap it around his length to determine how
much you take into your mouth. Lowering your hand or reducing your hold to mere
fingers the more you take into your mouth.
Other than the occasional sounds of pleasure from you
there is no need to make the blocked drain suddenly undraining sounds. Again
hello porn star; that was designed to say to the viewer it is in so deep I am
choking. Same as the spitting saliva onto a man’s penis, it was about degrading
him as much as the woman, not nice. I think it cheapens that act but again, my
opinion. If it works for you do it.
That is what this is all about. Do what works for YOU.
Not what you think men want. Not what porn films tell you men want or how it
works. Not what I am saying. This works for me and my man. Do what works for
you and your man. If it doesn’t make you happy, if you aren’t enjoying it, if
it isn’t turning you on even a bit then try something else.
If in doubt ask your man, do you like this. Sometimes
this is a conversation that needs to happen... now, while your mouth is full.
Do you like a bit of teeth action? How much? Do you want to slap my face with
your penis? Do you like him to do that? Same as eye contact, sometimes you can
see his face other times no matter how you contort you will not be able to look
him in the eye. Do what you want, how you want, it’s your mouth after all.
About now I need to tell you about when he cums. There is
a fairly thick ‘vein’ that runs up the underneath side of his penis, you can
feel it swell as you as sucking him. I like to place my thumb at the base of
the penis over this vein. It will give me time to get out the way if my man
cums unexpectedly because you can feel it pulse and build up and given the
right sort of pressure can prevent the semen making its appearance until you
let go of the vein.
If you like the taste and are happy to swallow you may
not want to prevent it by pushing on this vein, but knowing where this vein is
and how it feels is the difference between happy finish for both of you or an
unhappy one full of coughing gagging and spitting.
So now that your man is quite excited and well on the way
to an orgasm you need to decide where to from here. If the object was purely to
‘give him head’ then keep going till you either have to swallow, spit or get
out the way.
FYI, cum in your eyes stings, a lot.
If it was a very loving precursor to sex, you should both
be well aroused and ready to meet penis to vagina. (assuming you are a woman)
If you don’t want to swallow or be forced to spit I would
encourage you to add hand play into your fellatio from the start so he is used
to it and it doesn’t diminish his enjoyment and orgasm at the end.
I don’t swallow and I don’t spit. So I like to use my
hands to stroke him, I love how his head feels against my lips when I am
stroking him using my saliva as lubricant, taking him back into my mouth when
it starts to dissipate. So that when I can feel he is ready to cum (some men
will tell you, some hope to catch you unaware and cum in your mouth... remember
the respect thing... folks these days have dubious ideas about it.) anyways I
can feel my man approaching an orgasm, he also does me the courtesy of saying
he is close to cuming.
Don’t immediately change what you are doing, it changes
the sensation for you man and can push him away from an orgasm and not too it.
Keep going with what you are doing, I like to have him in my mouth till the
last possible second, so I will be using my hand to stroke him and my mouth
just around the head to maintain the sucking action until it is time to clamp
down on that vein and hand him a towel (not so romantic but it has its
benefits), turn his penis aside so his cum doesn’t hit you in the face, some
men like to come on your breasts and if you are ok with that and the circumstances
allow lean back and direct his penis to your breasts and let him enjoy his
orgasm or if you are in that car park on your knees, lean to the side so it
shoots off harmlessly onto the ground.
End with a smile and remind him that Cunniligis is a very
nice word too.
